Dating a widow with young children too soon
They might think, ‘Does being happy make people think I didn’t love my spouse? You don’t want to sound insensitive, but you want him to start letting go of the past and embracing the future.
That’s not easy to do if his late wife’s clothes are still hanging in her closet.
Right now I am not looking for love; I am happy to just meet new people and have good conversation. Maybe one day I will be sitting on the porch with my husband yelling at all the hooligans that walk by. I still believe that love is in my future, but I’m not going to find it sitting on the sidelines.
To suddenly find yourself spending all day at home with two little kids and then every night alone with no one to share your thoughts with, to sometimes go several days at a time without having a face-to-face adult interaction, can be maddening.
From what they tell me, dating a widower isn’t easy. They might also feel worried about other people’s perceptions. Physical reminders–mementos, personal effects, wedding pictures are difficult to see around the house.
In any other situation, finding a mate is all happiness, but with a widower, it can be tempered with guilt.
The reason I write is to speak truth and life and if that incurs judgment from small minded and overly opinionated people, so be it. That being said, the decision to date after loss is not an easy one.
Some widows choose never to date again, to remain single and find happiness in their singleness.I anticipate that dating is going to be difficult as a widow because I have an added layer of complication that is not the same for someone who is divorced or has never been married. Unless and until you become my husband, that fact will not change. You will need to be strong enough to let me grieve, or better yet, hold me while I grieve. I expect you to make an effort to show me you’re interested. I don’t have time or energy to invest in a man who isn’t on board.