Problems dating a psychologist
People high on avoidance were more likely to agree with statements like “I feel burdened by my phone.” It’s almost as if the phone is “this intrusive entity that’s taking away from their capacity to enjoy things,” Trub says. Of course, it’s a both/and question.” This reveals something of the deeper mechanics at work for why matching texting styles signal a more general compatibility: someone with avoidant attachment might be alarmed by lots of messages (hence the dangers of “double texting,” or sending consecutive texts without a reply), while someone more proximity-seeking will be made nervous by not getting a reply all day.
“They need to feel free of it.” The attachment is happening with the device, as well as the people behind them. In her practice, Hertlein will see couples who have problems when one texts the other with an urgent message, saying they want to talk, and their partner doesn’t reply right away.
There is, according to both psychological research and clinical practice, good reason for that concern: Last week I was shocked to learn something that later made perfect sense, when a new study in the journal Computers in Human Behavior found that perceived similarity in texting styles was linked to relationship satisfaction.If you want to look at your relationship patterns in order to start making changes within yourself and look at the kind of people you choose to have relationships with, we can help.